Uncle Mike gets sick
For some reason I am being haunted by my uncle tonight. He died in October 2002 of lung cancer.
Mike lived in a suburb of Chicago in a little apartment with shag carpet. He worked at a tool making company as a bookkeeper. 6 days a week he went to work, then came home to his pet parrot. He liked to watch "Whose Line is it Anyway?" and smoke cigarettes. Sundays he never missed mass, and faithfully called his mother right afterward. From what I could tell he was depressed for most of his life, and then never recovered from a painful divorce in the mid 80s.
On September 11, 2001 he got diagnosed with lung cancer. He didn't tell anyone about it until my mom dragged it out of him in a phone conversation in November. She offered to drive to Chicago that day and help him in any way she could. He refused, and she didn't like that. When my mom wants to help her loved ones, she wants to do it right now! Finally after about a month of her unsubtle persuasion, he relented and said she could come to Chicago and check in on him. I'm sure she was there within 8 hours.
She ended up driving back and forth between Iowa and Chicago every 2-3 weeks, whether Mike wanted her to come or not. She went to appointments with him, cooked and cleaned for him, took him out to eat and to movies. She suffered every time she had to leave him and go back to Iowa.
posted by Kate @ 11:23 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
It doesn't surprise me that you'd be thinking of your uncle. It seems you had a wonderful example of how to care for a family member in need. And it only makes sense that you would be thinking of your Uncle as one more example of how great your mom is.
I am haunted by a cousin who died of lung cancer. Partly because she never had it dragged out of her, and died without telling anyone in the family. I think I'm still a little angry that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, since I loved her so much. Perhaps there may be a little unfinished business with your Uncle?
I'm intrigued by the parrots too. Mike's bird was named Pirate. Mike also had a huge collection of little lighthouses. He had a huge mounted swordfish that he caught on one of his 2 lifetime trips to the ocean.
The parrot painted on the wall is at the house that my mom's dad grew up in. I think one of his old bachelor brothers painted it, but I'm not sure. It made a huge impression on me when I was a small child. It was creepy to me.
It just occurred to me that the anniversary of his death is coming up in a few days, so it really makes sense that he is haunting me. And unfinished business is always popping up at anniversaries.
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