I'm Back

Whirlwind trip to Iowa is over. This one is, at least. I know there are more to come.

Don't tell Tim, but I had the best night's sleep I've had in a year and a half. And not just one night, but two! But poor papa ended up spending Saturday night throwing up the flu, then taking care of 3 kids the next day! Luckily (and it is luck!), we have the best kids in the world. They are so great that they basically took care of themselves this weekend. At least that's what I heard from their dad.

Things in Ottumwa are changing. My mom looked different than she did last time I was there. Her face and upper body are retaining fluid, and her decadron has been reduced because of it. She is also not getting around so well, and did have a fall in the dining room last night. Of course it happened while my brother and I were gone, and while Joe and Louise were also out. She was okay, only some soreness in her ribs. She just keeps rolling with whatever comes at her, and we all watch in amazement.

She did tell me in a private (i.e. out of grandma's earshot) moment that she's thinking about going to hospice house, which is the residential hospice. She says she hasn't decided yet. I told her that I'm sure she will know when the time is right. This fit with my resolution to not be bossy or controlling during my visit. I'm glad to say that I did a good job keeping my mouth shut! It served us all well.

I also saw that my mom's real needs right now are spiritual and emotional, as she did a fair amount of crying on the rare occasions that she and I were alone. She is all brave for grandma, and it's not doing anyone any good, IMHO. But, again I kept my bossy daughter mouth closed. Instead I cried and let her cry and we both felt release.

I also asked her about who she wants to talk to about spiritual matters, and she named the priest at St. Pat's. So I called him and he is visiting her on Thursday. I also plan to call and speak to the hospice social worker tomorrow, and fill her in about my mom and grandma and what I see their needs being. Of course my biases will be clear, but the social worker will have to sort that out because I'm not objective here and I don't need to be.