depression

I think my mom is depressed. She has had a cold all weekend, but it got her further down than a cold usually would. She spent most of Saturday and Sunday in her room, her space heater blasting and her electric blanket cranked to 10. She is often complaining, in indirect ways, that our house is too cold. (It's not.) This from the woman who used to wear t-shirts throughout the winter because her body temperature was always on high.

She had a great trip back to Iowa for her class reunion, and loved seeing her old friends and getting lots of attention from all corners. My mom thrives on being the center of attention, and this was good for her. I think it was hard for her to see that life in her house with grandma is not the same since the cousins moved in to look after her, though. Mom was not needed in the same way that she once was, and this trip she was being cared for by the cousins as well.

For the past few days I've had the feeling that my mom thinks of our home as her home now. It is hard to imagine her going back to Iowa because it will really be the beginning of a new chapter of her life. Of all of our lives, really.

She is scheduled for chemo again the week after Thanksgiving, then another CT scan in mid December. Her last scan was very good, as the cancer in the lungs and liver had responded well to the treatment. If the next scan is good, then her next round of chemo may be her last one.