Katy's questions, again

In mid May, Katy asked me some blogger to blogger questions. I wrote responses to the easy ones, but the questions about my mom were too hard. I had thoughts about what I wanted to write, but it was too soon and they were too painful.

It has now been six months since my mom died, and I feel like I am in a different place than I was even 2 weeks ago. I think about my mom a lot, and often feel her presence in my daily life. I feel her when I see tiger lilies, and when I see butterflies floating around them. I feel her when I am rocking my baby to sleep at night, remembering that she did the same for me when I was a one-year-old.

I think it is time to tell stories about my mom. I don't know where I'm going with this, but I know that there is so much to tell about her. I want the world to know her better, even if she is not with us in physical form. Carol Irene Canny Wagner is a complicated, loving spirit of a woman, full of depth and warmth and feeling. In life she was full of powerful love as well as powerful anger, and she was (like me) a flawed human being of a mother.

For myself, I want to recreate some memories I have so that I don't lose them. Now is the time to write them as they are so close to the surface. For her, I want to put them out for others to see because she would love the attention. Also it would feel lonely and wrong not to fling them into the universe.

Alright, here we go. Let's see where this might take us...